A few months ago, I felt a sense of relief in knowing that following the end of the World Race, I'd be free from fundraising forever.
HALLELUJAH JESUS. The days of t-shirts, letters and garage sales are permanently behind me, and I can take my place in society as a contributing member, paying forward all the generosity I've received.
I opened my journal and started making a list of all the things I was going to do once I had secured a job: take my mom to Europe. Host a dinner party for my biggest World Race donors. Put a down payment on a car that isn't ten years old. Actually have a car.
I didn't know it then, but everything was about to flip on its head.
While in Lesotho, Africa, I voluntarily went 3 weeks without using wifi. During one particularly long Friday afternoon, as I sat paging through a Donald Miller book at our village lodge, God told me to do something.
Open a bed and breakfast, he said.
And as far as I was concerned, that was going to be my track post-Race. That was it. I got out my list and wrote "build credit to secure a property loan." I even started browsing listings in my city, letting my mind run wild with possibilities and dreams of wrap-around porches and wine on the terrace.
Two months passed, and God came knocking again. But this time, what he said sounded borderline bipolar.
"I want you to go back to Greece."
And like an old boyfriend showing up on your doorstep, my greatest love and greatest heartbreak was ushered back, center stage. All I could do was stare in disbelief.
Most of you guys followed my Race journey during my time in Greece, working with Syrian refugees. For those who didn't, here's the Cliffnotes version: it ruined me.
Greece was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced, and the only thing harder than being there has been being away from it.
That same week, I got an invitation to the Fellowship - an incredible eight-month marketing internship with Adventures that would allow me to grow professionally and spiritually in the direction of those callings.
God said, Do that, too.
The price of walking in obedience? Fundraising a cool $12,000.
Three callings, two months apart. B&B, Greece, internship.
I would've felt more confident making a dessert out of tarter sauce, whipped cream and garbanzo beans than I felt about making those three things fit together.
Fundraising is scary for dozens of reasons, but the scariest part isn't fear of failure.
The scariest part is having to tell people why they should care about what you're doing.
(photo: Hunter Young)
I'm gonna be back in America in a week or so, and for the past several days, the only thing I've been interested in doing is denying that fact, and the start of the Fellowship.
Why? It hurts.
It hurts to see the last 11 months of my life close out like a storybook, soon to take its place on the shelf of past experiences. It hurts to once again be in a posture of receiving, when all I want to do is give.
It hurts to have so much compassion and anger for the oppression of the Middle East, to hear questions like,"So, when are you returning to Greece?", and know I'm being called to spend the next 8 months learning and serving in Georgia first.
And since we're being honest here, I'll tell you that I've recently started skimming over articles and photos of refugees any time the pop up in my newsfeed. My teammate Aubrey made another video of the Greece/Macedonian border today, and I didn't even want to watch it.
I write a lot about the insanity of turning a blind eye to media and the reality of worldwide oppression.
I think I'm finally beginning to understand why people do this.
Caring hurts. Waiting hurts. Obedience hurts. Giving, whether financially or by engaging emotionally, changes us - we're left with a deficit as proof that we loved something enough to sacrifice for it.
The Fellowship is going to equip me in every possible way to make the dreams of opening a bed and breakfast and returning to Greece real.
From the classroom to conferences - to sitting at a desk editing blogs and managing websites, or coaching fellow Storytellers on how to write a book - this internship is God's next step for me.
Greece will still happen. My B&B will still happen.
The next 8 months are going to be a time of radical growth, education, and servanthood.
I know God's timing is perfect.
So if this is something you believe in - if I'm someone you believe in - I'm asking you to partner with me in this next act of helping bring Heaven to earth.
I need $3,000 by September 1st to begin.
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Are you in the Detroit area? I'll be back in Michigan from July 25th until September 14th. If you want to hear more about The Fellowship and my Race, shoot me a Facebook message, email me at kaylaezilch@gmail.com, or send a tagged carrier pigeon. Let's grab cappuccinos and build the Kingdom together.
